More Online Drama than Afternoon Soaps

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Joe
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A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by Joe » Fri Apr 10, 2009 2:56 pm

Hey Dirty, what's the shizzo, nizzo?
Representing the Hold For Swizzo, nizzo
All the girlies wanna front for me, but the only girl that I'd ever want for me
Is sittin' right over there, is she gonna make me stare? I don't even care

Does she realize that when she bats those eyes
All the other guys, they want between those thighs?
Or does she? Why does she do this to me?

Hey Roddy, the next item up for bids is
Her body; a great story for the grandkids
Sippin' Bacardi like it's your birthday
Gettin' retardy like it's your birthday
Then a couple of guys, they were up to no good
They tried to give my woman wood, and I'm all like

This isn't what I signed up for, too gradual to notice, to quick to stop the bleeding
Another load isn't what I was needing so you need to look my way

-Dumb fucking band.
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servo
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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by servo » Fri Apr 10, 2009 3:05 pm

wait... really?

wow

just wow...
Tu vir nunc es, canis

servo
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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by servo » Fri Apr 10, 2009 4:36 pm

wow. those are real lyrics.

shits retardy
Tu vir nunc es, canis

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Furious D
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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by Furious D » Fri Apr 10, 2009 5:11 pm

An instant classic.
....just kidding.

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ilikehorses
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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by ilikehorses » Fri Apr 10, 2009 8:33 pm

at first, i figured they weren't horrible lyrics for young kids. then i went to their myspace and saw this guy was in the band. i mean, how do you get to be 28 and make this shitty music?
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then i happened to go to that guy's myspace (i apparently have nothing worthwhile to do today) and saw that he wrote this:

"I play in a band. .... Go look at our dumb band. Even if we are not that good, we are still probably one of the better bands in Iowa."
Even today, I can't see a car run a red light without instantly having an image flash into my head of a man's erect penis, penetrating a watermelon.

UGH I SUCK

kylervk
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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by kylervk » Sat Apr 11, 2009 7:08 am

that guy thinks that about those lyrics?

thats what blows my mind.

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jjjsXe
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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by jjjsXe » Sat Apr 11, 2009 2:47 pm

well he did minor in creative writing, what did you minor in kyler?
abortions for some, miniature american flags for others

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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by kylervk » Sat Apr 11, 2009 3:15 pm

im an art major, but im not worried about having a shitty degree, im just using school to see europe on student loans.

are you a teacher yet?

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El Rhino
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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by El Rhino » Sat Apr 11, 2009 4:59 pm

Their more serious lyrics sound like C+ work in a high school poetry class.
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kristy
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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by kristy » Sat Apr 11, 2009 5:18 pm

im just using school to see europe on student loans.

funny, that's what i'm doing too.

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jonnyROCKET
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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by jonnyROCKET » Sat Apr 11, 2009 5:30 pm

the music sure doesn't help either

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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by kylervk » Sat Apr 11, 2009 7:39 pm

kristy wrote:
im just using school to see europe on student loans.

funny, that's what i'm doing too.
kristy, heres a bit of advice. never smoke out of a home made bong and blow the smoke in the general vicinity of your complexes smoke detector. the alarm may go off and the fire department may come while you flee out the back fire escape. you may not have the common sense to tell the firemen that you are room 70, so they may kick down your door and see all of your parephenelia and baggies laying around in your room (that looks like the 3rd world) and who knows, maybe you get kicked out of school, maybe the country... but youre damn sure going to have to pay for that door.

but if youre going to do this, you should do it in the netherlands.

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kristy
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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by kristy » Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:15 am

WHAT!!! I don't think I'm capable of getting that wild, anyway. Thanks for the advice. I hope you recover from this fiasco?

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Hank Fist
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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by Hank Fist » Mon Apr 13, 2009 7:39 pm

Kyler,
You should just go ahead and tell your mom.

Joe,
I happened to walk into the Hold for Swank set at GDP right when they started this rap thing. I laughed a lot.

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Re: A reading from the book of Hold For Swank

Post by kylervk » Mon Apr 13, 2009 7:51 pm

goddamn you hank fist!!!

...my mother is aware

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