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shit lawler review

Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 6:37 pm
by joseph
http://desmoines.metromix.com/bars-and- ... 32/content
Joe Lawler | Metromix
November 15, 2011

Once a month, Vaudeville Mews is home to Metal Up Your Tap, featuring some of the finest heavy metal bands in the Midwest. I stopped by the October installment on the night of the Court Avenue Halloween party to experience the show for myself.

5:37 p.m.: I walk in to see a crowd dense with patches, vests, black jeans and shirts. I have a cardigan on. I did not plan ahead.

5:41 p.m.: The first band, Agrinex, starts. I’m told they’re the only pure black metal band in Des Moines. The singer is wearing wrist cuffs with long nails poking through them. He looks like a very intense tetanus warning.

5:48 p.m.: The bartender, Clint Curtis, talks me into doing a shot made with a cake-flavored vodka. I’m wearing a cardigan. I just did a pineapple upside down cake shot. I. Am. Metal.

5:51 p.m.: A guy walks in, appearing to be carrying a child. On closer inspection he’s wearing a Dr. Evil costume with a Mini Me doll. I’m not sure what party he just came from, but I’m pretty sure it was in 1999. It would have been cooler if he was a parent who brought his kid to see Impaler.

5:58 p.m.: Walking toward the stage I notice a door I’ve never seen before. Having attended shows here for nearly 10 years I’m not sure how that could be. Is it a door to hell? That would be pretty badass.

6:01 p.m.: The singer from Agrinex is chewing on something. Is it bat heads? Gum?

6:03 p.m.: I look over and see that someone has brought a toddler to an Impaler show. She is crying. I predict the rest of her night and the subsequent 14 years will be interesting.

6:15 p.m.: I find out that Quad Cities band The Horde has dropped off the bill because they ran out of money for traveling.

6:25 p.m.: I notice that the singer from Impaler is manning the merch table. All the band’s stuff is stored in a black and orange Rubbermaid bin with an Impaler logo on top.

6:27 p.m.: Metal Up Your Tap organizers Trevor Fisher and Nate Fetus are on stage to ask some trivia questions. Which Cory is in “Tales From the Crypt: Bordello of Blood”? Turns out it’s Feldman. Reagan’s last name in “The Exorcist”? MacNeil. What was Reggie’s job in “Phantasm”? Ice cream vendor.

6:34 p.m.: Sick Burn takes the stage. It’s a hardcore tribute act featuring members of Black Market Fetus and Knuckled Down. Nate Fetus announces a song by the hardcore punk act Cro-Mags.

6:42 p.m.: A member of Sick Burn calls the show a “total sausage party” and tells the crowd to bring their girlfriends next time. To be fair, I count at least three women in the crowd.

6:44 p.m.: A crowd surfing attempt turns into crowd dropping. Things are getting pretty intense near the front. It’s like something out of “Mad Max.”

7:25 p.m.: Time for the final round of trivia. Fetus asks the crowd to name the five most known Universal monsters. My hand shoots up: “Dracula, Frankenstein, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Mummy, Wolf-Man.” It’s a bit of a gamble, since Bride of Frankenstein or The Phantom of the Opera could arguably be in there. Also, someone makes the point that I didn’t say “Frankenstein’s Monster.” Screw that, as Dr. Frankenstein’s de facto son I feel the monster has earned the right to the name Frankenstein.

Thankfully, Fetus agrees with me, and he admits that by “most known” he really meant his five favorites. Thankfully, the film “Monster Squad” left a strong impression on him as well. I collect my black bag of winnings, which includes DVDs of “The Descent,” “Dead Girl” and a too-small-for-me Shadows Fall shirt.

7:30 p.m.: “Hello Des Moines, we’re going to blow your face off!” Impaler growls from the stage. Fearful for my face, and with another Halloween party still ahead of me, I take my bag and disappear into the night.
seriously? why does he have a job? the most unenthusiastic "show goer".

thats like me reviewing a disney on ice show except id probably enjoy it.

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 7:43 pm
by Rooster
mistook this for different muyt show.didnt go to Impaler

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:57 pm
by inx515xhell
6:34 p.m.: Sick Burn takes the stage. It’s a hardcore tribute act featuring members of Black Market Fetus and Knuckled Down. Nate Fetus announces a song by the hardcore punk act Cro-Mags.

6:42 p.m.: A member of Sick Burn calls the show a “total sausage party” and tells the crowd to bring their girlfriends next time. To be fair, I count at least three women in the crowd.

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 12:59 pm
by kylervk
I saw him taking notes and told him to add the part about the baby crying, sort of funny that ended up in there. He missed out on a lot of other really funny/cool stuff, though

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 1:18 pm
by kurtis
typical Joe Lawler.

dude sucks. watching/listening to him talking to the door guys to get into the show is just as embarrassing

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 1:57 pm
by joseph
THERES NOTHING IN THIS REVIEW ABOUT THE MUSIC

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 2:11 pm
by Rooster
joseph wrote:THERES NOTHING IN THIS REVIEW ABOUT THE MUSIC
not a damn thing

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 5:41 pm
by joseph
ok im starting to figure out why this bugs me.
were told in this media "80-35, dmjuice, dmmetromix, dmregister, dmcityview" all about how dsm needs to reach out and be more of an alternative music destination and theres all these speeches and events to show people how to make it as a musician and how to work in the industry.

BUT they repeatedly make fun of/talk down to/procrastinate all the real diy grass roots bottom rung shows and people that actually do stuff. it comes off as pompous and arrogant and reaffirms why this town is bullshit when it comes to music and shows and venues.

but but butt- i do really appreciate that things are still happening and that some venues are completely open to being let out adn all that. regardless if thats only because they have a blind eye to what goes on as long as business wise they can still make a buck.

biggest of all i appreciate the people that still try to book/play/attend/do things regardless of any kind of gain just to enjoy themselves and have fun. those people i like. a lot. even though i dont personally know most of them.

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 5:43 pm
by joseph
i meant to include dmmc both of them. and that was a ramble. that was too long.
i need to start drinking again.

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 3:52 am
by Rooster
joseph wrote:people that still try to book/play/attend/do things regardless of any kind of gain just to enjoy themselves and have fun. those people i like. a lot. even though i dont personally know most of them.
thats what its all about man.

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 2:47 pm
by joseph
seriously wtf is this?

http://desmoines.metromix.com/restauran ... 35/content

is this how the register pays for a meal? whats next mcdonalds?

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:58 pm
by Rooster

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:31 am
by joseph
Shinedown, Five Figner Death Punch, Slash and more at Lazerfest
Five Finger Death Punch
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Add to playlist

Tweet Lazer 103.3 has announced the line-up for its 2012 Lazerfest and a new location for the May 13 concert.

Shinedown and Five Finger Death Punch will co-headline the two stage music festival, with Slash, Chevelle, Theory of a Deadman, Volbeat, Adelitas Way and Buckcherry round out the current acts, with more to be announced.

Five Finger Death Punch is a band that has really risen through the ranks with Lazerfest, going from much lower on the bill (and playing House of Bricks in 2008) to headlining the event.

The festival is also moving from the Indianola Balloon Grounds to the Central Iowa Expo in Boone.The space is supposed to offer better parking and better line of sight for viewers.

Tickets will go on sale Feb. 24 through Ticketmaster. Tickets will start out at $37 for a limited time, but members of Lazer's email club will get a first crack with a $5 discount between Feb. 17-Feb. 22.



Posted by Joe Lawler on Permalink
FiGner

hahahha

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:43 pm
by inx515xhell
dude, srsly every time i work in the titty bar i have some asshat who, upon hearing what i'm playing from my ipod dock, asks me if i listen to chevelle, five finger death punch, or breaking benjamin. and when i say i'm not into that kinda music they usually go "yeah i'm not really either but then i got the album and it rules!".
latest was a dude came in while i was listening to motorhead and asked me if it was PENNYWISE....

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 3:19 pm
by joseph
WOAH WOAH WOAH

YOURE STILL AT THE BOOBY BAR???

WHERES THE BLOG??

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 6:28 am
by inx515xhell
gone. it's just not as funny or entertaining anymore. became a "real job". i hate prettymuch everyone.

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 11:57 am
by kylervk
inx515xhell wrote: i hate prettymuch everyone.
that's tite

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Wed May 09, 2012 11:30 am
by joseph
Lazerfest site allows room for growth
Five Finger Death Punch, Chevelle are bands Iowans likely will drive to see at festival’s new location
Joe Lawler
HA

http://desmoines.metromix.com/music/art ... 66/content

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Wed May 09, 2012 6:29 pm
by Varg
Oh wow, dead horse trauma- they're the next Calous!

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Wed May 09, 2012 11:50 pm
by inx515xhell
at least calous weren't sketchy, drugged out, living diarrhea people.

oh actually they were.

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 11:15 am
by Thom
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trinU3VD1Zo&ob=av2e

I used to go to shows. I listen to chevelle now. Fuck you.

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 1:22 am
by kylervk
idk, i clicked that link thinking maybe it wouldnt be chevelle but i can really relate to the first comment i saw...

"I know most of you won't care, but sometimes I lay on my couch and pretend I'm a carrot (sorry, just had to get that out)."

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 4:38 pm
by Thom
"Sometimes when im alone, i like to leave a trail of cereal all around my house, so i cant find it later and follow it, only to find out it leads to the giant hole in my yard (that i dug to surprise myself last week) so if your reading this help ?"

Re: metal up your tap review

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 12:22 pm
by joseph
Bruce Springsteen to play Hilton in support of President Barack Obama
Bruce Springsteen to play Hilton in support of President Barack Obama.
Tweet .
Bruuuuuuuucccccceeeee! at Wells Fargo Arena last year. Yet another music/politics blog. Only a few more weeks of these to go.

Bruce Springsteen will perform at Hilton Coliseum in Ames on Thursday. Doors will open at 1 p.m. It's a part the president's bush to get people to vote early.

Tickets are free and are available at Obama campaign offices around the state.

http://desmoines.metromix.com/music/blo ... 18/content

Re: shit music review

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:54 pm
by joseph
Exclusive: People's is closing Saturday
Exclusive: People's is closing Saturday.
Tweet . I've received word from owner Tom Zmolek that People's on Court, 214 Court Ave., will be closing this week after the shows scheduled for Friday and Saturday. I'll updating with more details soon.
http://desmoines.metromix.com/home/blog ... 02/content

i consider this a win win

Re: shit music review

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 3:41 am
by Varg
joseph wrote:
Exclusive: People's is closing Saturday
Exclusive: People's is closing Saturday.
Tweet . I've received word from owner Tom Zmolek that People's on Court, 214 Court Ave., will be closing this week after the shows scheduled for Friday and Saturday. I'll updating with more details soon.
http://desmoines.metromix.com/home/blog ... 02/content

i consider this a win win

Good fucking riddance. I said for years this would happen. Didn't expect them to hold out as long as they did. Suck a fat dick.

Re: shit music review

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 1:27 pm
by joseph
Home > Blogs > Joe's music blog > If you like The Misfits, you're in for a treat If you like The Misfits, you're in for a treat
If you like The Misfits, you're in for a treat.
Tweet . For Misfits fans, Des Moines can be kind of feast or famine. I believe the last time the band played Des Moines was way back in 2005. Their former singer Michale Graves playes every so often, and Danzig played Davenport in 2007.

Other than that, you can buy a shirt at Hot Topic.

But over the next few weeks we will have three Misfits tribute acts playing Des Moines.

On Friday The Misfits Karaoke Halloween Ball will be held at the Vaudeville Mews. Admission is free, and you can sing "Die, Die My Darling" with a live band backing you. Face paint is optional.

On Nov. 2 Hollywood Horrors (Misfits tribute) will play Zombie Prom at Wooly's. Seems like a good pairing. The Entitled, Rumble Seat Riot and DJ Maj also perform. Admission is $15.

On Nov. 3 Horror Business, a Misfits tribute act featuring members of FacecCage, Only and Green Death will play the House of Bricks. A Pink Floyd tribute act, The Dark Side of the Wall, will also perform. You think you could get the real Misfits and Pink Floyd on the same bill? Think again. Admission is $10.

Wait, I'm just assuming when these people say they're Misfits tribute acts that they mean the 80s punk band. Hopefully I haven't mislabeled any tribute acts of Jem & The Holograms rival act, The Misfits. That would be truly outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous.
what the fuck does that have to do with anything???????????????????????????????????????

no mention of 5 years of misfits karaoke? or hobpeople still always being late to anything ....
$15 fucking dollars for a misfits cover band and rambleseat?

and if you live in des moines and ever go to shows how could you not know everything about the misfits??? des moines has always been pro misfits

Re: shit music review

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 3:55 pm
by kurtis
hell im going and I hate the misfits

Re: shit music review

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 4:54 pm
by joseph
kurtis wrote:hell im going and I hate the misfits
im assuming youre going to the mews one?

Re: shit music review

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 11:32 am
by joseph
http://desmoines.metromix.com/restauran ... 37/content
Ever get a burger topped with cold cheese? The meal is ruined.

Enter the Juicy Lucy, a burger where the cheese is encased in the meat itself — essentially a molten core of awesome wrapped in beef. The idea sprang up in Minneapolis, and has been slowly expanding south.

Here are three local places where you can find the greatest invention since cheese was first added to a burger.

Wellman’s Pub and Rooftop

Find it: 597 Market St., West Des Moines

About the Lucy: Wellman’s makes its burgers with a combo of ground beef and ground pork. $10.99.

Trophy’s Sports Bar & Grill

Find it: 2701 Douglas Ave.

About the Lucy: A massive half-pound burger that oozes cheese with each bite. $9.49.

Mickey’s Irish Pub

Find it: 1800 N.W. 86th St., Clive

About the Lucy: Two regular patties are merged into one around your choice of cheese. $8.50. For an even better deal, get a burger basket with fries for $5 on Thursdays.
wtf. i would rather eat at QT. how uninterested do you have to be to get free meals and write the blandest boringest "article?". a 12 year olds review would at least be engaging.