515 Crew

Sometime this year, taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program. I'll explain it using the Q and A format:

---------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
> A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
>
> Q. Where will the government get this money?
> A. From taxpayers..
>
> Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
> A. Only a smidgen.
>
> Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
> A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
> set, thus stimulating the economy.
>
> Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
> A. Shut up or you don't get your check.
>
> Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
> spending your stimulus check wisely:
>
> 1. If you spend the stimulus money at Harbor Freight, Wal-Mart, Dollar
> General, Sears or K-Mart, your money will go to China .
> 2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia , Iraq ,
> Iran , Yemen & Russia .
> 3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Pakistan , Indonesia &
> Sri Lanka .
> 4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras ,
> Chile or Guatemala ...
> 5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan , Germany or Korea .
> 6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
> 7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay
> management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.
>
> Or, you can keep the money in America by:
> 1. spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
> 2. going to baseball or football games, or
> 3. hiring prostitutes, or
> 4. buying cheap beer or
> 5. getting tattoos.
> These are the only wholly-American-owned businesses still operating in the
> US.
>
Conclusion:

The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed.

MATT MUTT wrote: > Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
> A. Shut up or you don't get your check.

totally spending mine on tattoos and titty bars.

MATT MUTT wrote: > 4. buying cheap beer or

Did my part last weekend then. 8 pack for the price of a 6 and union made:

a beer meant for matt mutt

Do they sell that beer in Des Moines? I'd like to try it.

looks like it's made in wisconsin.

http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/435/39840

http://www.united-nations-of-beer.com/l ... e-ale.html

MATT MUTT wrote:Do they sell that beer in Des Moines? I'd like to try it.

Yeah, I bought it at Fareway on 2nd. and Euclid. I think $7 for the 8 pack.

they always have it at the HyVees in Ames too. It needs more carbonation.

The flaw in your logic, is if it's spent at yard sales the people you give it to will probably spend it at Harbor Freight, Wal-Mart, Dollar General, Sears or K-Mart.

yeah, but at least you would be doing your part.

it's like how I eat dead things but my girlfriend doesn't. when people ask her about it she says, "I don't support murder, but he can do what he wants".

Lazy mutt beer is pretty good. I fully support spending my stimulus money on beer and tattoos.

Was thinking about getting an american made guitar, but I'm no sucker. I don't have that kind of dough, no will I in the foreseeable future.

yeah, I don't know how I never noticed Lazy Mutt Beer....... I mean come'on look who's talking here I'm deffinatly going to look for it tonight when I get off work.

MATT MUTT wrote:yeah, I don't know how I never noticed Lazy Mutt Beer....... I mean come'on look who's talking here I'm deffinatly going to look for it tonight when I get off work.

its probably not next to pbr.

are we getting stimulus checks this year? i hadnt heard that. when and how much?

No.

"Currently at this time there is no 2010 Stimulus Check.

President Obama has recently gone to Congress to get them to approve a bill that will allow those on Social Security and Veterans to receive a $250 check similar to that of the 2009 Stimulus Check. At this time there is no official word on when or if these stimulus checks will go out. However it is likely that these checks will go out late spring / early summer in 2010 if and when they do happen.

For the rest of America that are currently employed. There more then likely won’t be a 2010 Stimulus Check because of the tax credit that has been set aside for everyone. Remember how you are paying ~$20/week less in taxes over the year as a Stimulus Check? That same amount will be deducted from January 1 to the end of the year, so it is possible that it will be more like $12-$15/week instead."