515 Crew

[Big Fat Retard]

Dear City Council,

I'm assuming you're going to repeal the outdated dancing ordinance and allow people to hold dances after 2 am. part of that retarded law is that coin operated arcades must close from 2 am to 6 am also. This means that peopel can't play pinball, video games, or even worse, they can't use the private jack off booths at the local porn shops after two.

I hope that as part of repealing the dance ordinance, you will also remember the poor guys that couldn't score at the bar so they have to go to the porn shop to get their rocks off. If they can't get from the bar to the porn shop before 2 am they are left frustrated and horny. Do you want these guys cruising around the gay loop on the West side of the river downtown, or would you rather have them inside doing their dirty deeds?

Please allow us perverts to use the jack off booths at the porn shops after 2 am!

Sincerely,

JRS

PS When this law is repealed, will Brian Meyer have any problems with taco wagons selling burritos after 2 am?


Cc: "Bradshaw, Judy A." <JABradshaw@dmgov.org>, "Bergman, Bruce E." <BEBergman@dmgov.org>, "Clark, Richard A." <RAClark@dmgov.org>James. Please take me off your mailing list and distribution list. I have had enough of your sarcasm and now soft porn.

I want my kids to see that the work I do for the city while I am away from them is productive and positive. They don’t need to read your sick comments.

Let me be clear: You can go vote against me in my next election; but do not email me again. You lost that right.

Chris Coleman | President & CEO

Tel: 515.243.8137

Fax: 515.243.2227
ccoleman@dm.bbb.org
http://www.iowa.bbb.org
505 5th Avenue Suite 950
Des Moines, Iowa 50309


does your psychiatrist know that you are out? Like other, I'm sick or your ignorant, abusive and obnoxious e-mails. Take me off your list immediately. Failure to do so will result in a charge of computer harassment with the police and possible the FBI (federal offense to harass elected officials using electronic mail). Any further message from you will be forwarded to proper authorities for action.

TOM VLASSIS

[joseph]

youre giving up already?

[Big Fat Retard]

I think the next step may be to get the local porn shop managers to petition the city council to allow jack booths to be open after 2 am.

[Big Fat Retard]

ARTICLE II. GAME ROOMS, BOWLING ALLEYS AND AMUSEMENT DEVICES

Sec. 14-36. Definitions.
The following words, terms and phrases, when used in this article, shall have the meanings ascribed to them in this section, except where the context clearly indicates a different meaning:
Amusement device means any type of game or entertainment device or table, including but not limited to pool, billiards, snooker or ping pong tables; pinball machines; electronic games; and jukeboxes, which can be played by any number of participants. The term also includes any coin-operated or slug-operated or electronically, electrically or mechanically controlled still or motion picture machine, projector, or other image-producing device maintained to show images to five or fewer persons per machine at any one time. The term "amusement device" shall not include and this article shall not apply to pay television sets located in bus terminals, train stations and airports.


Sec. 14-43. Hours of operation.
(a) Game rooms shall not permit patrons to play or operate amusement devices, excepting jukeboxes and other vending machines the sole product of which is recorded music, between the hours of 2:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m.; provided, however:
(1) This restriction shall not apply to those game rooms at which are located no more than a jukebox and two other amusement devices.
(2) This subsection shall not be construed to require that a game room close at 2:00 a.m.
(3) A licensee shall be held to have complied with this subsection if he or she renders the amusement devices inoperable by either cutting off electricity to such devices or by closing off access by the public to the area in which such devices are situated at or before 2:00 a.m.

[Nick]

Bwahahahahahahaha.....if this is real, Johnny Reeferseed is my fucking hero.

[joseph]

i dont get it. are adult stores even open after 2? i thought they were all going out of business since the puters full of cooter/pornstuffs? you cant do it the normal way- in the privacy of the bushes in the park?

[Big Fat Retard]

Bwahahahahahahaha.....if this is real, Johnny Reeferseed is my fucking hero.

Yep. it's a real email I sent to all the city council and mayor and those are the only two responses I got.

[Big Fat Retard]

i dont get it. are adult stores even open after 2? i thought they were all going out of business since the puters full of cooter/pornstuffs? you cant do it the normal way- in the privacy of the bushes in the park?

Most porn shops in Des Moines are open 24/7, but the "private viewing booths" have to close between 2am and 6am. I suppose you could buy a magazine and go wack it in the park if you wanted to.

The argument the porn shop owners should make is that since they are losing all their business to all the free porn on the internet ( porntube is awesome!), they need to make up for it by having the jackin' booths open 24/7.

[Nick]

You're a goddamned legend, Mr. Reeferseed. lol

Also, I prefer youporn to porntube. Female ejaculation videos, FTW.

[Big Fat Retard]

Just in case anybody out there wants to let the City Council know how they feel about this issue:

brian meyer" <bjmeyer@dmgov.org>, ccoleman@dm.bbb.org, ccoleman@dmgov.org, "Chris Coleman" <chris@dm.bbb.org>, fcownie@dmgov.org, "frank cownie" <fcownie@dmgov.com>, "Christine Hensley" <Christine.Hensley@bankofthewest.com>, "Christine L. Hensley" <CHensley@dmgov.org>, "rekha basu" <rbasu@dmreg.com>, "Rekha Basu" <rbasu@desmoine.gannett.com>, hensley2@mchsi.com, "Robert L. Mahaffey" <RLMahaffey@dmgov.org>, mjkiernan@dmgov.org, tdvlassis@dmgov.org, vlassis3@mchsi.com

[noel_nothing]

i like eskimotube.com myself.

[servo]

the way i read the law all you need to use one of these booths at 2 am is 5 other dudes.
no big deal

[Nick]

the way i read the law all you need to use one of these booths at 2 am is 5 other dudes.
no big deal

servo thinking outside the box to find a loophole? Nice work!

[Big Fat Retard]

the way i read the law all you need to use one of these booths at 2 am is 5 other dudes.
no big deal

Are you suggesting an activity for a 515 Crew outing?

[Big Fat Retard]

Christine Hensley is now chiming in:

"II do not wish to receive any more e-mails as your comments have become significantly more inappropriate. I am sharing this information with the Chief of Police so that if further action is needed she will be aware of my intent. Christine"

[El Rhino]

What??? We have a female chief of police? No wonder crime is on the rise.

[joseph]

i think shes "interim"

[Big Fat Retard]

What??? We have a female chief of police? No wonder crime is on the rise.

I would think someone who is up on current events like yourself, would have known long ago that we have a full blown, mullet sporting, chain wallet wearing, man hating, lesbian police chief. Judy Bradsaw is a hardcore dyke who used to give out plenty of stitches on ther old infamous DMPD elevator rides when she was on the street.

[El Rhino]

Oh yeah, Judy Bradshaw. I guess I did know that.


Next thing you know we'll have a colored mayor.


Oh wait, we had one of those too.... What is the world coming to?

[Big Fat Retard]

Minneapolis hasn't even had a gay police chief. it's hard to believe Iowa has out liberaled Minnesota. All we need now is a transexual governor.

[joseph]

Minneapolis hasn't even had a gay police chief. it's hard to believe Iowa has out liberaled Minnesota. All we need now is a transexual governor.

they had a gay mayor. does that count?