515 Crew

so last night i got pulled over off of east university at about 3 am because the light above my rear license plate was burned out. the dude asks for license, registration and insurance (which i do not have) i quickly give him the first two items and i start looking through the glove box for an old insurance card so i can try to pull the "oh musta forgot to put my new card in." he comes back and tells me to step out of the car. he puts me up against the vehicle and pats me down. he tells me he is going to search my car.
"you need my permission to do that, which you do not have"
"no i dont, i saw you digging around in your glove compartment like you were trying to hide something"
"i was looking for my insurance like you asked me to!"

im taken to the curb where i sit with another officer for about 45 minutes while this guy tears every inch of my car apart. eventually he finds a glass one-hitter and some hy-vee pain reliever in a bag. he puts the piece down on my trunk and then he asks me what the pills are and gives me a "yeah, right" takes another 30 minutes getting someone to confirm what the pills were. he then asks me what i want to do about my pipe. i'm like "i dunno, i assume youre going to take it.."
"i dont have any need for it, why dont you take it home and destroy it? and next time keep your pills in the jar"
he puts my pills and my license and registration back in the car and i take off. (my car looks like it had just been ransacked)
later i realize he didnt grab my piece from off of my trunk and it had rolled off while i was driving away and was now sitting in the street in a residential neighborhood.
never did ask me about the insurance.

thanks, cop

Did you go back to look for the pipe?

nope, i just realized it was gone when i looked through my backpack this morning and saw it wasnt with my pills.
id go back, but meh

So, you're complaining that you didn't get a $350 ticket for not having insurance?
And why wouldn't you keep "the pills" in the jar?


Des Moines' finest, indeed...

moustache

im not complaining about anything. i just thought it was a weird encounter with a cop

this was right after you dropped me off, huh? i saw a lot of cops crawling around on the way home.

moments after we parted company

I have had numerous strange encounters like this with cops. The wierdest was probably about 19 years ago when I lived in Minneapolis. It was Sunday so we had to drive to Wisconsin to get beer. We got 3 six packs of Schlitz Malt Liquor tall boys in the red cans. We had drank one and were getting ready to drink the second one when I picked up a hitchhiker. Right after that we were pulled over by Minneapolis' finest. I spilled one beer in my pants trying to hide it and we had a six pack on the front seat and one in the back seat in plain view. I had no insurance, a sheet of acid in the glove box, and the car reeked of weed so I thought I was done. The cops laughed at my wet pants and made the usual "did you piss your pants?" comments, told the hitchiker to leave, took the six pack in the back seat, leaving us with one and gave me a lecture about picking up hitchikers.

The only thing I could figure out is that's what these cops did on Sundays so they don't have to drive to Wisconsin to get their beer.

this is indeed really weird but i have to say that's about as good of an outcome as it could be given how much tickets for lack of insurance are. you're lucky, dude.

shit, i could go on for fuckin days about dsm cops.....

yer tellin' me dawg...i will make a long story short...i used to live in the apartments behind kum and go on 31st st. before they were fancy condo's. i went out side at like 9pm to look for my cat that just ran out the door, i was outside looking with a flashlight in front for maybe 5 minutes, then all the sudden 3-5 cop cars bust outta nowhere, lights flashing and all, then the next thing i know, the fucking corner and street is blocked off because they thought i was going to break into the place or something...it was blocked off from the intersection of univ./31st up to brattleboro...des moines finest for sure...i eventually found my cat, it ran up to us during our interrogation, during the time we had to prove our identity and justification for being on the property...this all lasted maybe 20minutes...

Damn dude, that's a pain in the ass but pretty fortunate, all things considered. Buying a new one-hittie is about 1/100 the cost of having to carry SR-22 insurance for a year. But the cop was probably all amped up at seeing a nervous bearded dude rifling through his glove compartment and figured he had a big score on his hands... the cops and courts get a few hundred bucks for a no-insurance ticket, but for a drug conviction there's big fees and always the possibility of some seized property to boot. It's enough of a windfall for them that your new friend was willing to take the risk of making a search that wouldn't hold up in court, so. War on drugs saved your ass this time.

PS: gold star for not carrying anything illegal in your car that night. That is How You Do It.