515 Crew

[joseph]

uh, what did you do? did you steal somebodys girl? give somebody the bumps? not puff pass or what?

[servo]

the list of things i have done that can be conceived as shitty is long and numerous.
lets us start young.
when i was 2 i wanted to teach this kitten to swim. so i took it to a hole in the yard, filled it with water, and held the kitten in. now im 2 and i dont know anything about breathing and shit... but luckily my mom saw me and ran outside and stopped me. i was genuinely trying to teach the kitten how to swim and enjoy water.
but i would have killed it had i not been stopped.

[joseph]

is that the same kitten you made your moustache outta?

[Nick]

the list of things i have done that can be conceived as shitty is long and numerous.
lets us start young.
when i was 2 i wanted to teach this kitten to swim. so i took it to a hole in the yard, filled it with water, and held the kitten in. now im 2 and i dont know anything about breathing and shit... but luckily my mom saw me and ran outside and stopped me. i was genuinely trying to teach the kitten how to swim and enjoy water.
but i would have killed it had i not been stopped.

Sorta similar story.

I was 3 years old. Had just finished watching Dumbo. We had a miniture dachshund and figured his large, floppy ears were enough like Dumbo's that he could fly if he wanted. I proceeded to pick him up and carry him over to a steep hill in our backyard and throw him off of it to watch him fly. He fell like a rock and broke his front legs. This was my first lesson in gravity.

[servo]

you really are not helping yourself with all these cop stories...

[Joe]

Dude is from Waukee. That explains a lot about why he sucks.

-Joe.

[Nick]

A cop stuck at a desk is a pretty boring life. All we got is our stories.

[joseph]

now i have a better idea whos gonna turn into a cop. and whos gonna turn into a narc.

[Beaver]

The only good cop is a dead one.

[servo]

ya know, joes actually right, your being from waukee is kind of an affront to me on a personal level, nick

[Nick]

ya know, joes actually right, your being from waukee is kind of an affront to me on a personal level, nick

How so? It's not like I have Waukee pride or some shit. That's where my parents lived when I was in middle school/high school. I got over that place quick after I graduated. Still have a few friends there though.

[Joe]

Only dildos come out of Waukee.
You are living proof of that.

-Joe.

[servo]

im from dallas center. i think im just supposed to hate you.

[Nick]

I think it was only said that people from Waukee were supposed to hate people from Adel. Maybe that changed after I graduated? But I remember there actually being a lot of lame cross town fights between idiots from Adel and idiots from Waukee. I was one of those idiots on an occasion or two.

[servo]

wow, you sound like a real... warrior

[Nick]

wow, you sound like a real... warrior

lol. good stuff there.

[baron.von.wasteland]

Dude is from Waukee. That explains a lot about why he sucks.

-Joe.

Where are non-sucky people from?

[God]

SERVOFROMTHEINTERNET,
YOU ARE FORGIVEN YOUR TRESPASSES.

-GOD

[Joe]

YOU ARE FORGIVEN YOUR TRESPASSES.

-GOD

Too bad for Servo, god isn't real.

-Joe.

[Nick]

So I was browsing through some of my old eBay feedback ratings this morning and came across this comment left by a seller for a record I bought. I don't remember the record or where the person was from (eBay shows they are no longer a registered user), but I think they were from like Seattle or Portland for some reason? When I had purchased this, I had recently just moved back to Iowa and it made no fucking sense. Now I guess it does:

[servo]

isnt it fucked up... how i am EVERYWHERE