515 Crew

[tylerjames515]

The reason JFAC gets shit on now is because the old bree bree death core shit they were doing at first. I checked out Genesis when it first came out and it was pretty legit. A lot better than the earlier stuff.

Whitechapel is god awful, I feel sorry for anyone who enjoys it. It sucks that most kids come for them but it doesn't surprise me at all.

[El Rhino]

. probably should avoid the lumberyard too if you dont like the blacks.

This is true, I haven't been there in a few years and don't plan on going back but the past couple of times I went there it was full of gentlemen with plenty of melanin and little net worth trying to act out some sort of "big baller" fantasy they saw in a rap video. "We all up in da scrip clubz, nigga"


It's also full of beady-eyed, sketchy and stabby Central Americans.

[Varg]

avoid the minx. if its anything like when i worked there still, they dont allow anyone to stand up or be loud at all. they have old guys that come in and spend 3k a night pretty regularly so they keep it real tame. probably should avoid the lumberyard too if you dont like the blacks.

LOL, like I've never been to them before.

[Nickyouredead]

avoid the minx. if its anything like when i worked there still, they dont allow anyone to stand up or be loud at all. they have old guys that come in and spend 3k a night pretty regularly so they keep it real tame. probably should avoid the lumberyard too if you dont like the blacks.

LOL, like I've never been to them before. I like Minx because there's a lot less people there, it's more laid back, and we know some of the girls there. I like the Lumberyard because it's open later, I usually get in free, there's more girls, the girls are hotter, and we know a few girls there too sometimes.

We went to this place two nights ago in Sauget (St. Louis basically) called PTs? I think. Sports themed. Gorgeous girls and my $1 never went so far. It was great.

Nevermind, got it backwards.

[KY Jelly Belly]

BTW we have an off day in Iowa tonight/tomorrow. We'll be in DSM getting smashed. Revocation will be with us I believe. Possibly going to Lumberyard/Minx.

Revocation Rips, cool dudes! Have they been doing any Faith No More Covers on this tour?

[Bullet Tooth]

avoid the minx. if its anything like when i worked there still, they dont allow anyone to stand up or be loud at all. they have old guys that come in and spend 3k a night pretty regularly so they keep it real tame. probably should avoid the lumberyard too if you dont like the blacks.

LOL, like I've never been to them before.

well that would take us back to the nerd virgin thing. just trying to help. sorry, bro.

[joseph]

okay i take back my no care ever comment.

if you write a tour blog consisting of strip club reviews and antics it might be humorous.

if you continue along the so and so didnt pay us i had to do this and etc. anyone thats been in a band or had to deal with booking or collecting money then ill reintroduce my no care ever.

[Shane]

varg, i'm pretty sure nobody on here gives a fuck about you. am i right?

Yeah, I'm sure they'd much rather hear about your shit-dick cum-guzzling adventures. If you care so little, why were you even at the show on 4/20?
Keep living in your fantasy rockstar world brah.

This is so backwards it's almost comical. I'm actually incredulous right now.

[Shamone Jackson]

yo varg , would u tour manage my hip hop group ? or do u just chill wit them hard rock groups

[TooManyHumyns]

what band is this for?
are you their groupie?
get a blogspot.

[Varg]

So it's not long before you start missing some of the simple things in life when you're on a tour like this. I'd have to say the top three for me are: Two-ply toilet paper, sleep, and food. The combination of no sleep and little food has made me lose about 9 lbs at the half-way point of this tour. Most of it was fat and partially due to the fact that I NEVER did any kind of cardio prior to this. It's hard to find time to work-out, but those who are dedicated always find a way.
I'm lucky because there's actually a lot of people besides me that want to workout too. Some of the guys from JFAC brought kettle-bells, some of those portable/adjustable dumbells, and a pull-up bar. It's not much, but it's definitely better than nothing. Occasionally they'll try to find a gym near by and pay the $10 or however much and just workout there for the day. I've only been able to do that in Cleveland so far- and again when we were back in Ames.

Alright, now to back-track a little.
4/21 Newport, KY/Cincinatti:

This was the first date with JFAC (no WC) There were only two memorable things about this show. The first was the insane amounts of people smoking inside the venue. I thought they had pretty much done away with this everywhere in the country. Even people who smoke were bitching about how awful it was. It was absolutely disgusting.
The other thing happened during Cattle's set. The two hottest chicks at the show started making out with each other off to the side of the stage near the PA. They were both about 5'4", tanned, nice racks, and tight jeans. Not many people noticed, but man what a show. They were grabbing each others asses and full on dyking out. It was a great way to start the tour. They came over later and bought some shirts and were VERY flirty.

4/29- Pittsburgh, PA (Mr. Smalls)

Fuck this venue. They had us set up merch right next to the PA right near the front of the stage. No barricades or anything. Just your little table between you and 500 or so people. I figured it wouldn't get bad until White Chapel played, but it was shitty right from the start w/ Gaza. You had to hold on to your table all night to keep it from flipping over and having all the shit fly off it. Guy from White Chapel pretty much gave up and took everything off the table after he got tired of setting it up a few times. Stupidest shit ever. Fuck that venue.


We had an off day from the JFAC tour on 4/30 and 5/1 and did a show in Cleveland. This was hilarious. We went to the venue the night before because the guy we were staying with guestlisted us to see some band there. That was gay as fuck and I don't remember anything about it. I hadn't talked to the promoter of the venue yet so about an hour after the band was done playing and chillin' outside I was going to ask the vocalist if he knew the promoter. (The reason I was asking him was because he had mentioned that his band was going to be playing the next night w/ us. There were actually going to be two different shows going on at the same time...) I go up to him while he's smoking and he ignores looking at me for a few seconds and then I ask him "Hey, you guys are playing tomorrow right?" and without even looking at me he says "No. The other guys in my band are." and continues to ignore me. I actually laughed out loud a little. This guy was such a faggot and had the total rockstar vibe about him. It was just too god damned funny.
Turns out the show that was going to be going on the same time as ours was this "Jay Man Band" featuring the old vocalist of Mushroomhead (uhh who gives a fuck?) Wow, what a crowd this brought in. Five different kids painted their faces up like the dude when he was in Mushroomhead- one of them in full on army fatigues. It was some of the gayest shit I've ever seen in my life. Jay came over to me before the show and tried to get me to move my merch a little so his weird friend could sell CDs (not of this band, but like old mushroomhead shit and projects he was involved in). Dude was kind of a dick, but I mean, you would be too if you were in Mushroomhead!
The dude I was stuck next to for the rest of the night was fucking creepy man. He kept telling me he could get me hooked up w weed and other shit (no meth though ) He also said he could get us hooked up with "girl" or "girls" some shit like that- which I had no idea what that meant at the time. Then Derek (new Cattle bass player) told me it was slang for coke or crack..."white girl" something something, I dunno, it was stupid though. The guy kept giving me free CDs of shit I didn't care about (which we threw away the next day in Detroit) and the only thing that got him to shut up was when I said "No, Slipknot and Mushroomhead are two very different bands."
I was never so happy in my whole life to not have to talk to someone.

I will cover Detroit, Madison, and some other shit next time...
Tulsa, OK tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to Taco Buneo.

[Nick]

You should take the "r" out of your name. Much more fitting.

[Bullet Tooth]

this is actually getting pretty interesting. go on...

[Bullet Tooth]

also, post pics if you have them.

[Shamone Jackson]

" I hadn't talked to the promoter of the venue yet "



cuz you are the merch guy.

The tour manager advances everything 1-2 months previous , not the day before a show.

[elliot]

" I hadn't talked to the promoter of the venue yet "



cuz you are the merch guy.

The tour manager advances everything 1-2 months previous , not the day before a show.

He didn't need to. JFAC's TM probably took care of that, no need for Varg to pester the promoter a month before the show.

Also, nice to see you breaking character, you stupid, eternally unfunny gimmick.

[Shamone Jackson]

????

why u frontin ?

[inx515xhell]

yeah pics of the chicks making out would have made this amazing. still really good.

[lukerauch]

varg, i'm pretty sure nobody on here gives a fuck about you. am i right?

Yeah, I'm sure they'd much rather hear about your shit-dick cum-guzzling adventures. If you care so little, why were you even at the show on 4/20?
Keep living in your fantasy rockstar world brah.

This is so backwards it's almost comical. I'm actually incredulous right now.

i didn't go to the 4/20 show you dick-cuddler. where is this fantasy rockstar thing come in to play? you play on ENGL DUDE!!!! you creatine gulpin, finger-tappin, weight liftin, weiner flexin-sissy bitch.

[Churro]

you creatine gulpin, finger-tappin, weight liftin, weiner flexin-sissy bitch.

this

[maxxwell]

Sorry about the delays, i'm on tour myself and actually am doing awesome things EVERYDAY unlike varg who has time to facebook blog about showing up to the venue and sitting there.

*EDIT - Misread varg's post, whoopz.

The only person in that band that knows me is Ryan, who started the band. The rest are 5 or 6 lineups after me.

I got out of that band because, i don't wanna be locked into a shit ton of records on a label that was going to use them as a tax write off when i had us with 5 other deals that were WAYY better that they didn't want to take, oh well!

[Nickyouredead]

We always have luck with the YMCA and Gold's letting us in. Just call them ahead of time and let them know you are touring.

[Varg]

lol'd. Will have to respond later.



CA metalfest was yesterday...and it was pretty good.

[moltar]

These are cool. Keep posting.

[Varg]

Sorry about the delays, i'm on tour myself and actually am doing awesome things EVERYDAY unlike varg who has time to facebook blog about showing up to the venue and sitting there.

*EDIT - Misread varg's post, whoopz.

The only person in that band that knows me is Ryan, who started the band. The rest are 5 or 6 lineups after me.

I got out of that band because, i don't wanna be locked into a shit ton of records on a label that was going to use them as a tax write off when i had us with 5 other deals that were WAYY better that they didn't want to take, oh well!

lol, yeah, that's not why, but I'm sure that's what you tell everyone when they ask.

[Varg]

We always have luck with the YMCA and Gold's letting us in. Just call them ahead of time and let them know you are touring.

That's a good idea, but at the same time it's not all that practical. A lot of times the gyms are miles away and I can't take off in the van & trailer driving through downtown areas just to get my flexx on. All the JFAC dudes are working out now so it's not too bad.



In other news, I may hold off on any updates until I get back because some crazy shit has happened and I just can't do these stories any justice without pics. I DO have pics, but I can't upload them til I'm home. And a lot of them I won't be able to post. But yeah, it's getting much better at this point in the tour. Sacramento was insane. Best show yet.

laterz

[inx515xhell]

all pictures must be posted. censor them if you have to (as little as possible).

[JoePreppy]

good work Varg,

edit..speaking of roadtrips, just flew down to Arizona and drove back. Here's the toad I got to sit next to on the plane(yeah that's a woman btw) she was snoring most of the time and decided to vid the ish cuz I knew I wouldn't be able to describe how gross she was to people. She smelled worse too....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLC_BxE4pzE

[tylerjames515]

good work Varg,

edit..speaking of roadtrips, just flew down to Arizona and drove back. Here's the toad I got to sit next to on the plane(yeah that's a woman btw) she was snoring most of the time and decided to vid the ish cuz I knew I wouldn't be able to describe how gross she was to people. She smelled worse too....

<embed width="600" height="361" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullscreen="true" allowNetworking="all" wmode="transparent" src="http://static.photobucket.com/player.sw ... G_0216.flv">

hahahahahahahhaha

[robdigi]

hahaha. fuck. I'm sure she kept your thigh warm, though.