515 Crew

[@nonymous]

i'm sure ive come across as pompous more than a few times on this board, but in reality i think i'm a fairly grounded person who is genuinely concerned about the state of our planet.

that said, there is something i feel needs attention. the movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua was #1 at the box office this month. now, i fully support the diversity of taste and accept that i will not always agree or understand the choices others make. but this statistic, in my opinion, marks the beginning of the end to our entire way of life--and indeed, civilization itself.

i get that it's a kids movie and that ticket sales will reflect the fact that adults have to buy twice as many tickets to take their children but jesus christ, cmon.

see the trailer for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Anezcx0oGVo

to borrow Chris Hannah's review of Transformers:

I have seen some terrible movies in my time. Independence Day, Armageddon, Titanic, The Departed…the list goes on. But tonight, in a bout of insomnia, i managed to watch what has to be the all-time King of all terrible, useless, obnoxious, stupid, insipid, horrid, putrid, fetid, utter shit movies: Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Don’t ask me why i even tried. Just don’t. It’s not important. All i know is that my eyes actually smell like shit right now thanks to this visual bus-station toilet called a movie. I have in the past jokingly implied that violence should be visited upon those who have enjoyed such sad films. The joke is over. I hereby truly encourage people to hunt down every single person involved in the making of the Beverly Hills Chihuahua movie (and their extended family members — including children and grandparents) and actually kill them. Literally. If you yourself enjoyed this movie (or were merely ambivalent about it), please consider killing yourself by nail-gunning your own eviscera to your own stupid face while sitting naked on a pail of bees you idiot.

Thank you for reading my movie review.

oh also, the movie Fireproof--the Christian film with Kirk Cameron--was #4...more proof.

[Potter]

Ugh, I know how the feeling. I think the entertainment industry deserves a good lovebombing (if ya knowhatimean) as much as any other corporate office.

[inx515xhell]

in before thom has to take rtards to see this.

[Thom]

I in fact took my clients to see this yesterday.

I feel like less of a person having seen it.

Here's the plot:

There is a rich dog. This rich dog goes to Mexico on a vacation. This is especially troublesome because rich dogs are not accustomed to people that are not white in Beverly Hills. The dog and the owner of the dog even compare EVERY MEXICAN to gardeners. Not surprisingly, even though the movie takes place 95% in Mexico there are only 3 people in the movie that are not Caucasian. The dog then has banter with other dogs for the next 45 minutes about how prissy she is. This dog is then inexplicably kidnapped by dog thieves. The dog then escapes in a scene of hilarious CGI banter. The dog-nappers spend the rest of the movie CHASING DOWN A TINY DOG FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER. I could not stop asking myself "why?" the entire time. Apparently the dog is rich, so in the minds of the criminals is would make a delightful fighting dog. The dogs run away FOREVER with the criminals hot on their tails (no pun intended) spending possibly thousands of dollars for a dog to ransom back for a comparatively low amount. In the end the dog's owner finds her, and some of the criminals end up getting their heads bitten by a German Shepherd.

My major problem is that when someone has a dog run away, they have difficulty finding it while its still in the neighborhood, much less in ALL OF MEXICO CITY, finally tracking the dog down into THE FUCKING JUNGLE. I'm not talking about finding a full size great dane, I'm talking about a fucking chihuahua.

In summation this movie is on par with kangaroo jack. When that movie came out I decided that western civilization was in heavy decline, and that things will only be getting worse from here on out. Now the economy is failing, and this bullshit of a movie was number 1.

[inx515xhell]

In summation this movie is on par with kangaroo jack.

TO THE PACKAGE!

[tom2electricboogaloo]

my vhs version of 'slapshot' never fails me.

[inx515xhell]

recently saw that for the first time a couple weeks ago.

[TooManyHumyns]

thom, where do you work?

[xkristyx]

What a great movie. I'm going to shell out $1200 for a chihuahua, then throw it in the trash when I realize that all it does is shake and bite me all the time.

[Thom]

I work at Easter Seals in Supported Care Living

[El Rhino]

Not surprisingly, even though the movie takes place 95% in Mexico there are only 3 people in the movie that are not Caucasian.
.

Did you ever stop to think that maybe this film is finally representing one of Mexico's sizable minority groups (especially in the Mexico City/Guadalajara area), the Criollo class and/or other peoples descended wholly of European stock to an unaware Anglo-American audience? Just think of it as the Mexican version of "Soul Plane" or "Barbershop". Looks like they had a who's who of Mexican-American actors doing the voices of the dogs though.

Anyways, you only saw Slapshot recently, Tyler? Better late than never, I suppose. Don't waste your time with Slapshot II though. Fucking terrible. Slapshot is easily in the top five movies ever made.

"Suzanne sucks pussy!!!"

[Joe]

CHLOE THE CHIHUAHUA LOL
I'm gonna see this.

-Joe.

[tom2electricboogaloo]

Don't waste your time with Slapshot II though. Fucking terrible.

el rhino speaks the truth...slapshot 2 is horse shit.

[El Rhino]

I saw there's a Slapshot III, I can only imagine how gay that one is.

The only good part of Slapshot II is when the Hanson brothers say "Fuckin' machine took my quarter" like in the first one.

[inx515xhell]

hahaha yeah i watched that and cool hand luke for the first time to honor pual neumans passing. i actually saw slapshot II on vhs and considered buying it for 99 cents but passed. glad i did.
totally loved when everyone is partying in the hotel and the hanson brothers are drinking alone in their hotel room playing with a racecar track.