515 Crew

[devildanstl]

your boy joe is a turd and a half and i feel the need to set the record straight. i know we're "party thrash" and "shit" and dont matter and such, but i wanna wake up tomorrow and have the internet be funny. 10 to one odds he deletes this as soon as he reads it, being that he's a mod and all.

timeline:

2:00 - arrive at venue so theres NO CHANCE anything could go wrong this time and prevent us from playing, since we've not shown up twice before. i shouldnt have said "flaked", as what really happened the 2 times weve had to cancel is that the first time we had no van (remember that youtube video we got of us smashing the thing? that wasnt a joke) and had no way to get up there. as for the M.O.D. show, our trailer's axle fell off in the middle of illinois on the way there. no lie.

3:30 - beat teenage mutant ninja turtles "turtles in time" video game for snes. got beer, pizza, and batteries for my boombox. listened to "the chronic"

4:00 / 5:00 ish - hatchet shows up. this was the first we really got to meet them, as we had not hung out with them at all the night before in lawrence and that was the first date of our tour together.

8:00 ish - nate fetus comes up to me and says that we should load our stuff in. we got everything we brought (heads, guitars, 2 guitar cabs for monster full-stackedness), brought it all inside, and then looked around for hatchet's van, which contains everything we are using our entire tour, which apparently had gone to get tacos.

9:30 ish - hatchets van finally arrives back at the place. in the meantime other band whose name i dont recall has begun loading their shit in and is going to play. we wait for them to finish before moving hatchets stuff in because they had their merch set up in that hallway and all dudes in the basement and there was no way to get shit in.

whatever time it was when that band finished playing - loaded in all of hatchets shit. hatchet set it all up, we paper rock scissored for who plays first and they won.

whatever time it was when hatchet was playing - marcus, singer of hatchet, PLASTERED, pulls down the ceiling and calls everyone in iowa "faggots". i stand watching in wide-eyed shock. in the meantime, simultaneously, someone upstairs steals a bunch of shit from the dudes at the place.

whatever time it was when hatchet was done playing - i run around the house like a psycho trying to apologize to all the people that we had been hanging out at the house with all day for the ceiling getting collapsed, and offer to help clean anything up that need be. joey longhair over there says "can you guys just go? this is really fucking irritating."

right after that - one of the people that lives at the house apologizes to US for us getting fucked out of getting to play the show (hatchet had to leave, we're borrowing their shit, what are we supposed to do?), and then FINDS US A PLACE TO STAY. 2 other inhabitants of the home approach us in similar fashion, apologizing for everything being fucked up and asking if they could get a cd or something. we give them both free shit and apologize once more to them for everything that happened, although being careful to point out that we were actually technically innocent. no hard feelings, we head to the house we stayed at.

next morning - according to the internet, everything is our fault. joey longhair's vagina overflows with sand.



seems a bit retarded to me that first WE are being apologized TO for getting fucked over, and then the next day its our fault. make up your mind des moines. though i suspect its all joey longhair's butthurt fault, as we had plenty of time to hear about what a totally cool guy he is the whole time we were in cedar falls. do us a favor: if you dont like it that our crappy vehicles break down from time to time and it makes it impossible to transport equipment to shows, go ahead and call your rich mommy and daddy and see if they'll buy us a nice new van. that'd help a lot.

as far as the nate fetus thing, i talked to him the next afternoon and explained the whole situation from our point of view, and told him to call us after he talks to the people at the house and tell us if theres any problems, cause he's our buddy and we dont want him pissed at us. he acted chill as hell and said he'll figure out whats up, but says he doesnt know if we'll ever get a good turnout up there after everything cause des moines thinks we're flaky. sorry des moines, we totally woulda played if your long-haired crybaby of a friend woulda let us. we'll be happy to take another crack at it if he ever gets run out of town, so if anyone ever DOES want us back, grab your torches and pitchforks.

in conclusion, rich crusties will pay.

[ilikehorses]

joey longhair's vagina overflows with sand.

yeah, it was just his place, the diy venue he and his friends run out of the goodness of the their hearts that got trashed. geez, what a baby!

if you are going to come on here to apologize and end up talking shit, you can stay out of des moines.

[Thom]

go ahead and call your rich mommy and daddy

did des moines strike you as a particularly rich town?

I didn't bother going, because I knew you guys were going to fuck up somehow or another. I'm not sorry to say that you trashed one of my friends houses, and thats fucked. Not only that, you just admitted to stealing from their house. Thats even more fucked.

[KY Jelly Belly]

Thank you for setting the record straight, but c'mon, you guys don't have to talk shit to Joe. His place got trashed and honestly it was a HUGE mess that no band would've wanted to play in. What does suck is everytime you guys are booked here something fucked up happens that isn't your fault, sorry bout that dudes!

[joseph]

i wasnt at this show.

i like it when bands post their opinions on how the show went and stuff. somebody should make review cards with 515crew.com on them so they could rate their time spent in des moines.

[Hank Fist]

I guess it's a classic case of being judged to be the same as the people you hang out with.

[joseph]

I guess it's a classic case of being judged to be the same as the people you hang out with.

youre a "DAD"

[devildanstl]

joey longhair's vagina overflows with sand.

yeah, it was just his place, the diy venue he and his friends run out of the goodness of the their hearts that got trashed. geez, what a baby!

if you are going to come on here to apologize and end up talking shit, you can stay out of des moines.

remember how i said we didnt do anything wrong? i didnt come here to apologize for SHIT; i already did that at the show to the people that mattered. i came here to talk shit on joe because he deliberately tried to fuck us over for our show in cedar falls the next day by telling people that it was cancelled and shit.

did des moines strike you as a particularly rich town?

nope; just joe.

Not only that, you just admitted to stealing from their house. Thats even more fucked.

you have reading comprehension problems. we didnt steal anything, and in fact we got shit stole from us as well. we did literally nothing wrong. read slower if you have to.

Thank you for setting the record straight, but c'mon, you guys don't have to talk shit to Joe. His place got trashed and honestly it was a HUGE mess that no band would've wanted to play in. What does suck is everytime you guys are booked here something fucked up happens that isn't your fault, sorry bout that dudes!

we would've played under whatever conditions. i will play in a hurricane. plus there wouldnt have been a mess at all if joe wouldve let us help clean up immediately after it all happened instead of being a complete asshole.

I guess it's a classic case of being judged to be the same as the people you hang out with.

hey, there's hope for des moines after all. thanks for being able to read.

further it was a case of us never having a goddamn chance in the first place as far as joe is concerned. go to the shows section where he posted in his own thread that he started about this show, telling everyone "Party thrash sucks. If you actually listen to and take this shit seriously, you're an idiot." and further: "Cross Exam is just shit." wow, sweet, thanks for hyping the show dude, no wonder so many people came out.

[Thom]

you have reading comprehension problems. we didnt steal anything

steals a bunch of shit from the dudes at the place

I guess you can't fucking remember what you typed. You could be talking about stuff getting stolen from you in this statement, in which case you have trouble writing too.

further it was a case of us never having a goddamn chance in the first place as far as joe is concerned. go to the shows section where he posted in his own thread that he started about this show, telling everyone "Party thrash sucks. If you actually listen to and take this shit seriously, you're an idiot." and further: "Cross Exam is just shit." wow, sweet, thanks for hyping the show dude, no wonder so many people came out.

Its funny you accuse me of illiteracy when your fucking caveman brain can hardly comprehend what you read yourself. In case you missed it, joe posted the comment you are talking about at Fri Aug 01, 2008 5:29 am. AFTER THE FUCKING SHOW.

Party thrash sucks.
If you actually listen to and take this shit seriously, you're an idiot.

-Joe.

Lets not forget that you ripped down the fucking ceiling.

I apologize to any cavemen reading this thread that were offended by being compared to a member of cross exam.

[devildanstl]

i wrote "in the meantime, simultaneously, someone upstairs steals a bunch of shit from the dudes at the place." where you got that i was referring to myself or any of my band members or dudes, i'll never know. merely posted as context to explain how absolutely fucked up everything that happened at that show was.

as far as the shit joe wrote, pardon me, the "cross exam is shit" statement happened after the show took place. the other did not. the part thats ridiculous is that he was the one that posted that show in there in the first place, and then basically went on to explain why people shouldnt go. really fucking cool.

"Lets not forget that you ripped down the fucking ceiling."

read very carefully: I DIDNT TOUCH THE GODDAMN CEILING. we didnt fucking do anything!! guilty by associ-fucking-ation i guess.

[Thom]

you are seriously that dumb.

The quote from joe that I posted was posted by him on august 1st at 5 something in the morning. The show happened july 31st...

reasoning with you is like trying to talk to a 5 year old wearing neon hot pants and a fucking fanny pack.


hope the party never stops brah

Maybe if you care about venues and shows that you play, you would distance yourself from bands that call people "faggots" and rip down ceilings instead of coming on to a local message board and trying to piss everyone off.

A good way to get a crowd involved is to call them "des moines faggots" and to try and wreck their house btw,

[devildanstl]

oh wow, alright well pardon me again. thought that happened earlier i guess because everyone in cedar falls was telling us all about how thats what he'd been running around saying to people long before the show happened. i actually heard all about that long before i found any of this hilarious internettery.

so 90% of what i said is still tasty golden genius. ill recap for the lazy:

1. we're innocent.
2. joe's a turd.

[devildanstl]

Maybe if you care about venues and shows that you play, you would distance yourself from bands that call people "faggots" and rip down ceilings

A good way to get a crowd involved is to call them "des moines faggots" and to try and wreck their house btw,

all hatchet, not us. and as i said above, des moines was the first we met those dudes or even saw their set. if it makes you feel any better, we're pretty sure they're gonna break up by the end of this tour thanks to how awesome cross exam is constantly.

i really dont know what more we couldve possibly done. we tried to help clean for fucks sake, apologized for everything that happened, and we didnt do any of it. joe didnt want anything to do with it because party thrash sucks so bad, i guess.

[ilikehorses]

joey longhair's vagina overflows with sand.

yeah, it was just his place, the diy venue he and his friends run out of the goodness of the their hearts that got trashed. geez, what a baby!

if you are going to come on here to apologize and end up talking shit, you can stay out of des moines.

remember how i said we didnt do anything wrong? i didnt come here to apologize for SHIT; i already did that at the show to the people that mattered. i came here to talk shit on joe because he deliberately tried to fuck us over for our show in cedar falls the next day by telling people that it was cancelled and shit.

so came here to talk shit to joe? cool! tell you what, there's a private message button, go ahead and talk shit to him.
because, as far as i can tell, no one in des moines wants you back.

and as far as joe being pissed and saying mean things, i think anyone in that situation would have been pissed and done the same. quit fucking crying about joe saying your band / genre sucks.

[ilikehorses]

i really dont know what more we couldve possibly done. we tried to help clean for fucks sake, apologized for everything that happened, and we didnt do any of it. joe didnt want anything to do with it because party thrash sucks so bad, i guess.

geeeez, does every party thrash band whine this much?

[@nonymous]

i wasn't there at all and can't really have much of an opinion on this, but i'm curious to those who were there....if what this dude is saying is true, that a) cross exam didnt tear shit up b) they offered to help clean up directly after said events and c) were told to leave due to merely being on tour with the shitty party band--then why don't people on here understand why they might be a bit upset?

traveling all the way to a town, not being able to play, not getting gas money to the next town. . .

not saying they're innocent because again, i wasn't there. but so far, his statement hasn't been disputed.

note to cross exam dude: while i applaud your efforts to defend and clear up the events of that night, you should know that the 515 message board is absolutely NO place for conflict resolution. anyone with common sense and the ability to engage in rational, logical discussion has learned that by now.

[crow]

i wasn't there at all and can't really have much of an opinion on this, but i'm curious to those who were there....if what this dude is saying is true, that a) cross exam didnt tear shit up b) they offered to help clean up directly after said events and c) were told to leave due to merely being on tour with the shitty party band--then why don't people on here understand why they might be a bit upset?

pretty much what i was thinking but knew better than to bother posting.

[Wheatstache]

This board is no place for reason. Back to the whining.

[Hank Fist]

note to cross exam dude: while i applaud your efforts to defend and clear up the events of that night, you should know that the 515 message board is absolutely NO place for conflict resolution. anyone with common sense and the ability to engage in rational, logical discussion has learned that by now.

..but i was just going to bring up the subject of biracial abortionists aborting holocaust survivors' great grand-children in a muslim temple within a jewish state while smoking a cigarette, concealing a firearm, watching Carlos Mencia, and getting a crimethinc. tattoo.

Now what?

[Hank Fist]

...oh shit, and something about vegans.

[TooManyHumyns]

i wasnt there...family emergency blah blah blah...anyways......you doods (cross examination) played last year? it was fucking sick....me and dustin partied in the van with you before the show and after the show as well...you all seemed like totally awesome doods...so they like to party...so what.....and as far as i can see from both sides of the story is that....hatchet is a bunch of shitty, dissatisfied doods...and it sux that cross exam has to take the blow for it....i would love to see cross exam play here in des moines again...its shitty that you had to cancel the previous 2 times...but if you came back im sure everybody could laugh at the whole situation and talk shit on hatchet all night...while take beer bongs, or root beer bongs depending on your xEDGEx....next time maybe not share equipment or whatever unless you know the other band is solid doods, or doodettes....word

[servo]

james for the win

[TooManyHumyns]

and it sux that property was stolen from people who live at the haunted basement..total shit...and it sux that shit was missing from cross exam...whoever is responsible is a total fucking weak person...if cross exam offered to clean up, which it sounds like from both sides that they did, that there isn't really much you can hold against them...that cant control hatchet destroying the ceiling(sp) anymore than joe or anybody else there could have...it sounds like cross exam wanted to play, but hatchet treated the show like a joke...its a bad deal that cross ex. was dependent on hatchet to play, being as they were sharing equipment...in closing hatchet sux..and cross exam was in the wrong place at the wrong time...come back plz

[elliot]

I distinctly remember Cross Exam being one of the tightest bands ever when they played the Mews last year.

It really does seem like Hatchet fucked everything up, and that Cross Exam had the unfortunate association with them. I mean, this ceiling stuff happened during Hatchet's set, not Cross Exam, so there goes that argument. And if they're trying to explain themselves now, I think people should at least hear them out. Very, VERY seldom has a touring band come on here to do that.

Benjy did say that Cross Exam dude with the tiny shorts was saying stuff like, "Fuck this place, nobody even showed up, we don't give a shit." So if that's true, that kinda sucks.

Joe, you gotta watch your mouth on the internet. I've learned that lesson myself.

[inx515xhell]

hey i like cross exam and i wasn't there so none of this has affected my feelings for you dudes! sounds like a classic case of overreaction, and like @ said, 515crew is the last place to find any conflict resolution.

are you guys coming through denver? if so i really want to see you guys and pick up a copy of the new lp. i also want to shitstomp the hatchet dude for thrashing my bros ceiling and calling my friends "iowa faggots".

[Joe]

I'm not going to sugar coat shit.

I get to the Haunted Basement at 6:30. I was excited about this show and had spent the entire month of July handing out fliers for this show and telling kids about it when I didn't have fliers. I chit chat for a minute, sit down on the couch, some dude from Cross Exam asks:

"So, when should we play? I mean, the later it gets, the drunker we're gonna get."

Oh, cool.

"The flier says 7:00, but shows usually start around 8:00 here." Generic response, whatever. THIS IS WHAT I TELL EVERY BAND. 8:00.

Anyway, 2 hours go by and I'm getting really sick and tired of people forcing themselves to yell generic thrash quips such as "LET'S LISTEN TO EXODUS AND RAGE" while crushing beer cans on their heads. I'm asking Nate why they haven't set up yet. He doesn't know, he told Cross Exam and Hatchet to start setting up but. nothing. is. happening. at. all.

Later we find out Hatchet is at Taco John's, and they have all the guitars and whatever the fuck people need to play. So, instead of solving the problem and maybe calling dudes in Hatchet, everyone drinks somemore instead.

By this time, the herd is starting to thin. ANOTHER BAND THAT ISN'T EVEN ON THE SHOW SHOWS UP AND SETS UP AND PLAYS. I've gone through this already. They ripped. Then, Hatchet played awhile after this band. I sat in the front room for the beginning of their set, and this is where I back up what Benjy has already said:

As I'm sitting there, I hear MEMBERS OF CROSS EXAMINATION say "this fucking sucks, no one is here, I'm not going to fucking play." I heard this with my very own ears and then rolled my very own eyes. So, I'm glad I'm not the only one that heard that shit. So, yeah, it's TOTALLY MY FAULT for you guys not being able to play... even though you could've set up and played hours before... and even though, based on what members of Cross Examination had said, YOU WEREN'T EVEN PLANNING TO. You got paid to get drunk and trash our place. Cool.

Also, don't act like everyone in Cross Exam is innocent and had nothing to do with the mess in the back room. After hearing too many "all of you are faggots" from Hatchet, I go in the back and lean against the wall. I see a member of Cross Exam pick up a perfectly good ceiling tile (that was moved out of the way and set against the back wall BEFORE THE CEILING HAD FALLEN) and break it across the singer of Hatchet's back. These weren't ceiling tiles that were in pieces already, just ones that had fallen and were still good and were placed out of the way so they wouldn't get broken.

Not only that, but after the ceiling had fallen and shit was all over, members of Cross Exam came in to the back room and started STOMPING on the ceiling that had fallen apart, the tiles and the plastic light covering, and then kicking the pieces all over the room.

So, no, you guys aren't innocent.

Also, after dealing with all this shit all days, after being called an IOWA FAGGOT and having my ceiling ripped down, do you really think I want you guys in my house anymore, helping me clean up? No. Get the fuck out and let me deal with it, I DON'T WANT ANYTHING ELSE TO HAPPEN. One of my roommates had ALREADY LEFT that night because everything was so stupid, one of my roommates was pissed, Benjy found you a place to stay in Cedar Falls because he is from there and you were playing there the next night, and the kid that apologized to you was a traveler that had stayed with us for 3 days and I can't even remember his name.

Also, why is it my responsibility to find you guys a place to stay? I didn't book the show, so it's not my problem, and after my house got fucked up and trashed, I really, really don't give a fuck where you guys sleep. Also, if the PROMOTED HIMSELF left the show after all the bullshit, that must say something about the situation that was going on that night.

I've worked with this DIY space for 9 months now, and you guys and Hatchet have been the ONLY ones that have been a problem (besides Burbis, but they were rich fucks being fuckers). Sorry, it needs to be said.

I used to think you guys were a fun band, but now I don't give a shit, and tons of people in Des Moines don't give a shit.

As for being called rich?
and for being called crusty? Fuck you, I'm a metalhead.

-Joe.

[Joe]

i came here to talk shit on joe because he deliberately tried to fuck us over for our show in cedar falls the next day by telling people that it was cancelled and shit.

Never happened.

-Joe.

[ilikehorses]

he already pointed out he didn't come on here to solve a conflict or set the record straight. he came on here to talk shit.

[devildanstl]

no kidding thats what i came for. bear in mind that i had all of cedar falls telling me that they heard the cedar falls show wasnt happening, and that this info came from joe, and that it was probably him trying to fuck us over. do i wanna take the high road after something like that? never ever ever ever ever. further, we got myspace, joe could get our number from nate and talk to us, whatever, but instead he blows up 2 messageboards with stuff like "i threw away all my cross exam shit" and saying we were total assholes and trashed the house. i have no interest in taking care of that through private message. i am more interested in clearing my name and laughing while im doing so. ("whining", by the way? cmon, i LOVE this shit. internet drama is the hilariousest.)

THAT SAID:

joe's most recent post was actually rather clear-headed and reasonable, and i dont doubt that most of it happened, really. i mean, i have a response for every single bit of it that should temper the situation or at least put it in perspective, but right now i have to go on the roof of the building we're at be totally awesome. ill be back.

oh by the way, it should please des moines to know that hatchet dropped off our tour tonight, out of money i guess. cross exam is going to just go on the rest of the tour with no equipment and just wing it i guess. flaky my ass.

[Joe]

"i threw away all my cross exam shit" and saying we were total assholes and trashed the house.

All true.

I don't see how you're going to "clear your name". Either members of Cross Examination or people associated with Cross Examination (I don't know which, since you guys didn't exactly PLAY, so I couldn't tell who was who) helped with the trashing of my place.

You disrespected my house so I kicked you the fuck out. That's that.

-Joe.